If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm always down for nudity.
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