I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
