Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
