She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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