I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
