If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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