Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
