im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
