I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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