mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
