he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
