how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
