sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
