So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
