fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
