Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
