So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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