Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
