Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
God, I missed his penis.
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