Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
