i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ok first of all what the fuck
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
God, I missed his penis.
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