Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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