Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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