I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
