I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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