Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
