Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
