ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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