Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
