Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
