we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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