Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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