I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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