I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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