i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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