Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
