I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ketchup is God's man juice
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
