You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
