what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
