I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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