im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
