his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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