i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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