Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
