it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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