Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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