$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
