I'm gonna have a badass scar
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
