There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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