My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
