god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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