At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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