There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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